


Home.

by charlie-stims (galaxieswashonshore)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Depression, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Jack Kline, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jack Kline Needs A Hug, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Not Beta Read, Sad, Sam Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Stay safe please, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural), The MCD is implied but like as much as you can make it, This is really triggering, a bit - Freeform, i mean it's his suicide note and the ending is his signature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26881417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxieswashonshore/pseuds/charlie-stims
Summary: Hey, Sam. Cas. Dean.I’m sure you’re probably wondering what this is. Or maybe you aren’t. Maybe you already know. I can’t be sure. I mean, I’m not you, right?Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that...I’m sorry.--Jack is tired of hurting people, so he decides to make sure that he can't anymore.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester, Jack Kline & Sam Winchester
Kudos: 26





	Home.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a vent so it's really dark. Like, REALLY dark. Read the tags and stay safe. Please don't use this fic to self-harm.
> 
> Cross-posted to my tumblr.

Hey, Sam. Cas. Dean.

I’m sure you’re probably wondering what this is. Or maybe you aren’t. Maybe you already know. I can’t be sure. I mean, I’m not you, right?

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that...I’m sorry. For what I’ve done to you, for what happened to Mary, for what I’m about to do, just...everything. And I’m sorry I didn’t apologize sooner. I guess I thought I could deal with everything logically, with my brain, you know? Like maybe I didn’t need a soul. Turns out I was wrong, though.

Donatello said that every time he had to make an important decision, he thought, “What would Mr. Rogers do?” I figured, if Donatello can just use that, then why can’t I? I can’t, though, because I’m not human like he is. I didn’t know that then, though, even if I know it now. I still tried my best. I guess you guys were like my own personal Mr. Rogers. You always do what’s right, so now I’m doing it, too.

I’m dangerous. I know that. Dean, you’ve always made it clear, even since the very beginning when I barely knew what it meant. But I know now. I understand. If I stay here any longer, I could end up hurting somebody. I will end up hurting somebody. I’m powerful, and I don’t have a soul, and you guys shouldn’t have to pay for that.

So I’m leaving. I’m sorry to whoever has to find and clean up my body. I don’t think it’ll be pleasant, but then again, I’ve never had to take care of my messes after I’m dead. Because, well, I was dead. It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? That I’ve died once before against my will and now I’m doing it on purpose. That’s the point of free will, though, isn’t it? To be able to do what you want, even if other people would tell you not to? It’s everything we’ve been fighting for, and I guess this is kind of a final show of it.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, honestly. I guess I want to explain my thoughts, maybe? Am I apologizing for this, for everything else? Or maybe I’m just saying goodbye. Yeah, I think that’s it. I’m saying goodbye. Just...don’t try to bring me back, okay? No matter how much you want to, if you even want to. It’s better this way. If I’m dead, then I can’t hurt any of you, or anyone else.

Sam, Cas, you were both like fathers to me--well, you were fathers to me. Dean, you were kind of like the “cool uncle”. I love you all. I’m going to miss you guys. Well, probably not, because I’ll be dead, but it’s nice to say it anyway. Does it help? Knowing that I’d miss you if I could? I hope it does. I don’t want to hurt you guys too much.

Anyway, I gotta go, you guys will be home soon and I don’t want you to try to stop me. Home. That’s nice, isn’t it?

Signed (with love),

Jack ~~Kline~~ Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> Not to sound like any other of the hundreds of suicide fics that have been posted, but if you are struggling with mental illness, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts, please do not hesitate to reach out. You can find me on tumblr at @charliestims if you need to talk. You are not alone.
> 
> U.S. Suicide & Crisis Hotlines: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html


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